The End

I am... tired of this blog (a manifestation of my ADHD tendencies). Moving to Wordpress =)

The cheating gene

At least two cousins are getting married this year. And one getting a divorce. Sadly, it won't be the first one in the family. On that, I would like to reconfirm my belief in karma.

Here's the story. My cousin will be divorcing her husband because he cheated on her. Apparently he had been fooling around with this other woman and one day he suggested that she... move in with them. Sinting kan?

This evening, while I was mindlessly mashing ginger and garlic in the kitchen to cook my tofu, my mind flew to her and her family, specifically her mother, my aunt.

My aunt, at the time no doubt a feisty young woman, was a Chinese language teacher. She gave private lessons to rich people's kids in their homes. What followed was a classic soap opera storyline. She fell in love with one of her students' father, who also fell in love with her. He divorced his wife and married my aunt. The ex-wife allegedly committed suicide and one of the man's children became mentally unstable. Crazy, isn't it? My aunt, a homewrecker.

And now, a similar storyline seems to befall her own daughter. I wonder if she and her husband are now saying to themselves, "Gee, this looks familiar."

More time for myself

I recently approached my department head at work and asked, "Can I work just four days a week?" Thanks to the economic slowdown (yes, there's always something to thank for!), she said yes. So starting the second week of February, I have been a persona non grata in the office on Wednesdays. Of course, that means forgoing four or three days' worth of wages each month, but I can't help to think that it's a sweet deal. Work for two days, break, work for another two days, then break again. I originally intended this arrangement so I can have more time to practice writing and basically launch myself into a freelance writer. Credits to Malcolm Gladwell and his concept of the 10,000 hour rule.

But last Wednesday afternoon, as I was walking on Sherbrooke Street without a very defined destination, I realized how else those free Wednesdays benefit me. They keep me sane and unjaded from the debilitating routine of having a full-time job, living in a comfortable home and being in a steady relationship.

Those three things, I have realized, make me feel like I'm being nursed in a mental hospital, if I may use that rather dramatic illustration. You live in an environment where your needs are attended to and where you are kept safe from harm, but slowly and unknowingly, you start to lose yourself in your own comfort zone. You forget what else is out there and you've become too lazy to get up and find out.

I'm not saying I don't want my job. I'm not saying my home is a shit hole. I'm not saying I don't love my boyfriend. In fact, it's the total opposite. They could be my downfall because they make me comfortable.

Isn't it funny, absurd even, that I'm saying all this? When a lot of people out there are homeless, starving and heartbroken. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's human nature. We just can't help but fuck things up for ourselves.

I think I had a good weekend

Finally, I did it. I sent my very first query letter, proposing an article idea to the arts & life editor of the Montreal Gazette. I worked on that letter for the whole weekend. It was not unlike writing a cover letter to apply for a job. It is a job afterall.

They say that most query letters go unanswered and the key is just to keep trying, trying and trying. So I will!

Of course, I didn't spend the whole weekend tweaking that letter. On Saturday I went to this ceramic studio cafe with Perrine and we spent no less than four hours there. I think I've found a new favourite hang out place in this city. It is a combined cafe and place where you can paint ceramics. If it sounds boring, wait til you see the collection of ceramic objects to choose from. There were more than just mugs, plates and bowls. The massive variety takes up the entire second floor of the cafe. I chose to paint a teapot for my recently acquired habit of drinking green tea. In keeping with the theme, I painted green turtles on it. It won't be until the coming Saturday when I can see take home the result, though. My teapot is currently being 'baked' in the oven along with Perrine's blue salamander mug.

I spent a quiet Sunday staying at home until around 4pm when my mood started to deteriorate and I just had to get out of the house. That's my body's normal reaction when kept inside for too long and too long means more than half a day. Also, the bad mood could have something to do with my failed cooking attempt at lunch. The menu I had in mind was chicken with carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms with creamy mushrooms sauce on couscous. This is how the events unfolded: first I burned the mushroom sauce, then I burned the couscous and in the frantic scene that followed, I forgot that I had carrots frying madly behind me. I turned around and voila, the carrots had turned black too. It was probably my worst culinary failure. What kind of idiot burns sauce? In the end I made do with some 'saved' carrots, chicken and cauliflower (the broccoli turned out to have kinda yellowed in the fridge...), flavoured with Lee Kum Kee's black pepper sauce. By this stage, I was no longer hungry and just wanted to bury my head in the pillow and cry!

Later on we went out for a walk at Parc Lafontaine and I was glad we did because there were lots and lots and lots of doggies to look at! There was a baby Rottweiler who chose to follow me into the icy surface of the park and the poor thing, not knowing what lay ahead, jumped in and slipped! I think that scene brightened my mood instantly.

Orang nyolot di kantor

Salah satu orang di tim gua di kantor baru-baru ini resign. Hari Jumat ini hari terakhir dia kerja. Gua seneng banget. Senenggggggggg banget.

Mungkin gua udah pernah cerita tentang dia di blog ini. Mungkin belum. Yang pasti, udah gua blog atau belum nggak mengurangi betapa menyebalkannya orang ini. Pertama-tama, tampangnya bikin gua pingin kentut. Kedua, cara pakai bajunya bikin gua beneran kentut. Ketiga, gaya jalannya bikin gua mencret! Perihal penampilannya yang bikin gua stres, rambut orang ini selalu rapi jali (dengan bantuan hair gel dan antek-anteknya yang pasti). Lalu, gaya berpakaiannya dia sangat sok skateboard, dengan jeans yang ujungnya digulung, memamerkan sepatu ketsnya yang bermerk. Ditambah lagi kerah kemejanya yang selalu ditata keatas. Semua itu dibawa jalan dengan postur peacock (dada dan dagu keatas). Ekstrim gak tuh? Tapi itu belum semua! Pasalnya, orang yang sama ini juga punya gaya bicara yang membuat gua berkomentar seperti, "Ih lu najis ya?" tiap kali dia buka mulut. Dan baru-baru ini, gara-gara ada sedikit restructure di kantor dan dia dipindahkan ke tim gua, gua notice kalau dia punya iPhone.

Pertama kali gua lihat dia dengan mainannya ini adalah ketika tim kita makan malam bersama. Gua ingat, waktu itu kita lagi ngobrol tentang bubble tea. Namanya juga bule, konsep bubble tea yah masih sangat asing untuk mereka, jadinya gua dan satu teman yang lain mencoba jelasin ke mereka apa sih yang dimaksud bubble tea ini, ketika tiba-tiba si A mengeluarkan iPhone-nya dan di layar iPhone tersebut tertera sebuah webpage mengenai bubble tea, komplit dengan penjelasan dan asal usul tapioka. Sah-sah aja sampai sini. Resehnya, dia nggak berenti-berenti main dengan iPhone-nya itu. Orang-orang lain ngobrol, dia malah ngutak-ngatik itu barang. Lagaknya kayak businessman yang punya banyak appointment. Hahaha, emang gua bitchy kali ye?

Tapi tunggu dulu, cerita gua belum selesai. Ternyata! Di kantor pun, dia gak bisa terpisahkan dengan iPhone-nya ini! Orang-orang sibuk ngoceh-ngoceh di telepon (urusan kerja maksudnya), jari-jari dia dan iPhone-nya sibuk sendiri di bawah meja. Aduh, pathetic banget. Kayak anak SD yang sembunyi-sembunyi main Game & Watch di dalam kelas. Ngomong-ngomong, masih ada yang inget Game & Watch gak? Gua hobi banget tuh main Game & Watch waktu masih kecil.

Home sweeeeet home

After spending hours browsing the net looking at people's DIY home decoration projects (this is the main culprit: www.apartmenttherapy.com), I've decided to take the plunge.

Today, I painted one of my walls with black chalkboard paint. Which means that I'll be able to write stuff on that wall and easily wipe it off - just like in the old primary school days! Things that I have envisioned to write on that wall include:
1. Calendar for the month
2. Growth chart (although I don't think I'll grow any further, but it'll be a handy super long ruler)
3. Shopping list (unfortunately this will be hard to carry to the grocery store...)
4. Outing plans for the month

In addition, I spray painted one of the plain Jane Ikea dining chairs. I picked a purplish blue colour to go with the yellow cushion. The result looks rather shabby chic, which I'm rather pleased about. Someone's got to put some feminine touch to balance out the zen of this place, hehehe. Now I have to decide if I want to paint the table blue or yellow or another colour altogether. I'm thinking... black, to go with the chalkboard wall that stands right behind it.

Excited. Very, very excited.

Just need to chat right now

I wish I didn’t have to finish off those tax obligations back home, one of them is a few months overdue, hanging off my skinny back. As each day passes, I feel their fangs coming closer and closer. Yet, menacing as these tasks are, I don’t feel compelled to get them over and done with. My writing pursuit comes first. Funny, I feel embarrassed typing out that last sentence.

I’ve read countless articles on being a freelance writer, finding article ideas and writing query letters. I can probably start a book on these subjects without ever having had a feature article in any newspaper with my name as a byline. I guess you can say that I’m overqualified as a freelance writer. The way a 25 year-old Master’s graduate who has never had a job in his field of study is overqualified for his first job.

I cringe every time I think that I’m wasting precious hours in my day job, conducting mind-numbing interviews. When I say mind-numbing, I don’t mean it’s a brainless job, it just means that I’ve known the job so well that I can talk, type, grab a marshmallow, answer an IM message and pick my nose at the same time. My point is, it’s not a bad job, but after almost one year, it is starting to get mechanical.

I did try to do something about it though, spice up my professional life a bit and apply to no less than three internal positions. Failed. Being (or striving to be) someone with high self-esteem, I attribute that to lack of preparation rather than incompetence. But if I want to be more honest, I suspect that I failed because I didn’t really want those jobs. No no, I wanted those jobs, but I didn’t desperately want them. Get the difference? So perhaps, just perhaps, the interviewers caught a whiff of that insincerity.

Happily, I can feel things starting to come together for me. I’ve started writing a query letter, though I’ve stopped short of explaining what my article will actually contain. Ha! But we all start from the bottom, right?

For the second time in my life, I am opting to take the lonely path. That of breaking away from a Monday to Friday, nine to five (or in my case ten to six) job, though this time I am still retaining some of that lifestyle. Mostly for the money, but also to retain a bit of sanity. Repulsive as the word may sound, I do need some form of a r.o.u.t.i.n.e.

I thought 2007 was my year of soul searching and I thought I was satisfied with the results. No. It was just the beginning.